Tad's Acoustic Series Part Two - Out of My Mind

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I'm definitely out of my mind (I've also learned that I judgmentally snicker when people misspell definitely as defiantly...but that's another story).  In fact, if you dig back into those parenthesis I may in all actuality be defiantly out of my mind as well, but I'm not sure any of that has to do with anything...which is sort of my life's view at this moment.  Now, for the lyrics:

I feel your heart beat next to mine

And I listen as it dances right in time

To the music in my head

Good God I think I'm fallen

I whisper something to you so sincere

In an instant all the clouds have turned to clear

And I know I’m not okay

Good Lord now I know I’ve fallen

Out of my mind and out of my head

My spectrum’s been shifted to green from red

And the color of your eyes leave nothing unsaid

And I know, I’m as good as dead

I watched the sunset yesterday

And I smiled as the rays blurred to a haze

And I thought ain't it beautiful

Good lord could I think I've fallen

My heart nearly stopped as you walked away

Then stopped for good when back you came

Now I know my mind has changed

Good god I know I’ve fallen

Looks like I’m fallen in love

I'm pretty sure this was written on my bedroom floor (as most of these songs were)...and I'm also fairly certain it's not about anyone in particular.  In fact, I think it was written at a time in my life where being "fallen" in love was just a hope...coming off another 2+ year "failed" relationship and feeling as I often did in those days as there was no one out there that would want me (boo-hoo I know...leave me alone, I was, and perhaps still am, a bit of a romantic pessimist).  

Lastly, this song came from a time when the "band" (my buddies Carl & Luke at the time) were starting to play open mics on a weekly basis and we felt (probably I felt most strongly) that we had to have a new song each week.  I taught them the chords and structure in the parking lot about 30 minutes before we went up...it was just how we did things.  Looking back on those times...knowing that I wanted a new song each week and was able to keep up w/ that "demand" for quite some time astounds me.  As I may have mentioned before, I have not written a meaningful full song in some time...if I had to put a number on it, my best guess would be at least eight years...so these songs defiantly came at the height of my creativity (FYI - the defiantly was on purpose).

Thanks all for checking it out, liking (hopefully), and commenting if you like.  This sort of exercise really gets me fired up...and I'm excited to find the time to record the rest and give insights as I can...as well as dig up old memories that keep the fire going (and may even stoke it to some degree).  A dear friend of mine recently asked me to write a song about where I'm at right now in life, w/ all the stresses, joys, and pains of Happily Ever After...well, she knows who she is...and my goal is to have that done by the time I get around to finishing this for her (and for me).

Thanks and love to y'all (I have a best friend and best friend-in-law in TX so I can use y'all w/ no hesitance).

Tad

Tad's Acoustic Series Part One - I Came to Play

So here we go...part one in a (insert number here) part series of songs I wrote many, many years ago and have recently decided to record one last time...just to share before I decide to give up the whole music thing all together.  

First of all, musically at least, this is probably my favorite of any song I've ever written (which is sort of like Nascar beginning their season w/ the biggest race of all).  I like the funky/fun vibe mixed w/ the usual depressing lyrics (my trade mark).  If memory serves, I wrote this in about an hour, sitting in my bedroom in my parents house.  Speaking of said lyrics, I suppose I should share them before we go any further:

I wanna feel this way forever how ‘bout you, you ready for something new?

I don’t expect things to get colder how ‘bout you, you ready to freeze right through?

You’ve got your reasons and I’ve got mine

And you won’t believe them but I don’t mind

Because I’ve felt this way forever it’s nothing new, are you ready to be abused?

   

Someone once told me things will always work for good if I only wait

I tried to believe them as I counted down the days and days and days…

Am I counting the right way?

What’s that look I don’t believe it, what’s it say, are things ready to go my way

I know I used to take for granted everything, just wish something would stay the same

You never were in it could things be worse

The way that you spin it I’m just not sure

Because I’ve felt this way forever, I came to play, and I wish you’d go away

Got time for a quick story how ‘bout something true

You may have jumped before me but I was ready before you

Don’t spout no explanation I’m careless either way

The day I lost you forever was the day my world was gained

This was one of my first lessons in the way that my songs could affect the ones who it was written about.  I flat out got called out on this one.  To me, it was a playful expression of my feelings, to her it was an indictment...and I've never forgotten that feeling of knowing how my "art" hurt someone's feelings.  In fact, it probably affected every song I wrote after it...in all actually it was the last truly "good" song I wrote...I put "good" in quotation marks b/c it's entirely subjective...but just my opinion.  

Song writing is a difficult animal...at least for me.  I have yet to learn how to write from a 3rd party observer perspective...everything I've ever written has been extremely personal...and maybe that's why it's been relatively good...not sure.  I'll be honest, I haven't written a decent song since I've been married w/ kids...b/c expressing your true feelings in such a vulnerable situation as that just seems to risky.  I love my wife, I love my kids...but to dive deep into the inner recesses of my dark soul honestly just seems like it leaves too much room for hurt for those I love.  Anyway, this is the first installment.  I can't promise any regular schedule or anything b/c that's just not how things work nowadays...but I am excited to record my "hits" and share them w/ you...and tell you a bit about what each of them mean, or at least meant to me at the time.  Please share, please enjoy...and please tell me what you think.

Love you all,

Tad

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